Timecom

The world's intelligence agencies had first noticed my son, Brian Dorgu, when he was seven years old, after he tried to buy plutonium for the flying saucer he was building in the shed, triggering a massive and embarrassing Hazmat response involving three countries. That was before Brian employed a surgeon to install the implants that allowed him to talk to himself in the future and past - before he enrolled himself into a girl's school, then decided to become a girl and a Moslem, just to find out what it was like.

When a couple of FSB agents tried to grab Brian and shove him into a van, upon his return to Earth after thirteen years away inside the dwarf planet Ceres, Brian was not scared. The Russians were the ones who ran away with broken noses, embarrassed again after their fifth attempt. I do not know what my son said or did that day, but the FSB left him alone after that.

China's Ministry of State Security suffered a similar fate when they unswervingly attempted to use Brian as a quantum computer to resolutely win their technological war with the United States. Brian handed them their arses, and sent them running to their mothers.

It was time for my son to join Timecom as Earth's third human member - time to find out what will happen for the next nine million years.

Now, of course, all that has been redacted. Apparently knowing what will happen ensures that it doesn't, and Timecom is being pretty careful to avoid that, after what didn't happen last time ...

This is the heavily redacted story of an Australian boy and girl who was the most intelligent person in the galaxy for seventeen days.

"Get your interplanetary passports in order, otherwise Adam Mathews might leave you behind." - Anthony Staarkard